SUMMER

SUMMER CHECK OFF LIST

-Get a beach chair, some hawaiian punch, music and friends and sit back and chill on the salt flats. 

-Kiss someone in the rain

-Do something illegal

-Laugh so hard it hurts
-Go to a drive in movie
-Sneak out
-Spend all of my money on something completely worthless

-Go on a vacation

-Visit the beach

-Make at least 10 new friends

-Discover Myself

-Get a tattoo

-Meet someone who will change my life

-Go to Lagoon

-Do something I've always been scared to do

-Say something I have always been scared to say

-Read a whole series of books

-Watch all the new movies that come out in theaters

-Go on a fantastic date

Jealousy

So I have decided that there are too many abusive, and possessive relationships in high school... I mean... were in high school.  Yeah, it's tight to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but not to the point where you cut out everybody from your life. 
I have seen so many people I care about get taken over by their relationships, very abusive ones.  And it was hard for me just as much as them, because I saw them suffer, but they couldn't break it off and there was nothing I could do. Most of it happened because of the "significant" other became jealous. 
So people, save the heavy stuff for when are actually MATURE enough to handle all of this ish.  Seriously, you'd save your self and alot of people alot of pain.   Becuase they care about you alot.  Enough to tell you when enough is enough.  It's not worth it.  Keep it casual.  Word.

Oh yeahh... an i'm jealous of the Poem "The Rose That Grew From the Concrete" by Tupac
It is so simple yet, so sophisticated.  It gives you a sense of hope out of something you never thought possible.  I am jealous.

How I feel About You

I dropped you off
Just a little after midnight
Sat in my car
Till you turned off your porch light
I should have kissed you
I should have pushed you up against the wall
I should have kissed you
Just like I wasn’t scared at all

I turned off the car
Ran through the yard
Back to your front door
Before I could knock
You turned the lock
And met me on the front porch

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

You couldn’t see me
Watching through the window
Wondering what went wrong
Praying that you wouldn’t go
You should have kissed me
You should have pushed me up against the wall
You should have kissed me
I was right on the edge and ready to fall

So I turned off the car
Ran through the yard
Back to your front door
Before I could knock
You turned the lock
And met me on the front porch

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

I turned off the car
ran through the yard
back to your front door
Half scared to death can’t catch my breath
Aren’t these the moments we live for

And I kissed you
Goodnight
And now that I’ve kissed you
It’s a good night good night baby goodnight

SLEEP

Sleep is something that is MY TIME.

Sleep is where I can think about everything that has happened during the day

It is where I can let myself think with our judging myself

It is a place where all my hopes become real

It is where I realize things that have never occured to me before
It is a place where I can be happy

It is a place where only I know what I am really thinking

I dream about my dreams in life

I dream about lovers

I dream abouts success

I dream about BOLDNESS; things I would never think of doing in the real world.

Unstoppable

“Every soul who comes to earth
with a leg or two at birth
must wrestle his opponents knowing it’s not what is,
it’s what can be that measures worth.
Make it hard, just make it possible
and through pain I’ll not complain.
My spirit is unconquerable,
fearless I will face each foe, for I know I am capable.
I don’t care what’s probable,
through blood, sweat, and tears, I am unstoppable.” 
-Anthony Robles NCAA Wrestling Champion

COURAGE

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson
I Love this quote and i feel like it sums courage up in a nutshell for me.  Courage is something we must gain on our own.  We hear stories about how it has changes other peoples lives and how we must have it... but for me.. it really doesn't have an effect on me until you are at the other end of that deal.  To talk about courage we must not courage.


Courage is standing up to your friends.
Courage is asking that boy to a dance
Courage is taking a chance
Courage is being at the wrong place at the wrong time knowing something good will come about it.
Courage is something you have after you have already taken the risk; it's the will to keep going.
Courage is the FEARLESS of the unknown.
Courage is something we all say we have... but very few actually act upon it
Courage is the leap of faith
Courage is the will to keep going;
even after you've be knocked down.

Change

I am a person who HATES change.  Unless it is needed... When i get close to people I am not about to leave them... unless they make me.
But sometimes life just sucks... and you need things to change, but you can't see it happening...here is some motiviation.

And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again
You know it's all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you?re getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through

Because these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

So we've been outnumbered, raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
We're getting stronger now from things they never found
They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared

You can walk away and say we don't need this
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/taylor-swift-lyrics/change-lyrics.html .]
But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this

'Cause these things will change, can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
It's a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

We'll sing hallelujah!
We'll sing hallelujah! Oh

Tonight we standed on our knees
To fight for what we worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
Will we stand up champions tonight?

It was the night things changed, can you see it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
It's a revolution, throw your hands up, 'cause we never gave in

We'll sing hallelujah!
We sang hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

Life and Death

I have learned how fragile life is...and how we shouldn't take this lightly... so i am making a bucket list
*I want to go skydiving
*I want to go scuba diving
*I want to accomplish something great
*I want to go back to florida
*I want to live at the beach
*I want to get married
*I want to have a real relationship
*I want to have children
*I want to pull an all nighter
*get a beach chair, and chill on the salt flats
*Go to Lake Powell
*Be a role model to someone
*Have someone look up to me for being who i was and not changing that for anything

Things I Like

I like Nutella
I like rings
I like boys?
I like sports
I like the color blue
Now you mention it i like pink and yellow as well
I like the warmth 
I like sleeping with my room cold so i can cuddle up in my blanket
I like summer
I like the feeling of being wanted
I like to know that nobody knows who i am so i can write this freely
I like Jokes.......what did batman say to Robin before he got in the bat mobile? ......Robin.... get in the bat mobile.  hahah... ha ha...haaa........
I like music
I like good posture and straight teeth.
I like the ocean
I like happiness
I like the feeling of being truley, genuinely happy
I like you.

Fears

Fears are all around us and can consume us if we don't know how to manage them the right way.  Or just trying not to think about them in my case.  
I fear that i will not be liked by other people

I fear that i think about things to much

I fear that i am just a hopeless cause

I fear that i will not get married

I fear that i will lose someone i love

I fear that something is wrong with me and i don't see 
things the same way people see out of their own eyes.  
I fear that Mr. Nelson will get mad because I don't have good punctuation
I fear that one day i will not be good enough anymore

I fear that i will never get over my insecurities.  

But if you looked at be from the outside, some of my fears may not be a obvious as others.  

Fake it till you make it.

Fears.

Fears.

Fears.

Fears.

                                                                                                                       Fears.  

Eventually you will forget about your fears long enough that they will become small and insignificant anymore.  So don't really worry about your fears.